I'm...

I'm listening....

To the sounds of my children's voices driving me crazy!  Travi has been singing songs by artists that I hate ie. Nicki Minaj, old school DMX and whatever else pops up on his favorite pandora stations (Gas Pedal).  He can NOT carry a tune but still attempts to rap, sing and jam.  It is driving me nuts.  Taylor on the other hand does not has a voice that sounds like nails on a chalkboard BUT she insists on annoyingly copying her brother or just yelling at him.  I reflect fondly to my hour long lunch each week day where I come home, eat lunch and sit in absolute silence in my house.  You see, even at night when my children sleep they are still talking.  It never ends!!!

I'm wearing...

I just told my Trav yesterday that my favorite part of the weekend is after all my chores are done and we have finished our runs.  We come home, shower and I slip into my coziest pants and most comfortable, warm top.  During the week, I walk in the door, kiss my family and walk straight upstairs to change out of my work clothes.  Work clothes consists of business casual wear.  I typically wear trouser pants, a dressy shirt or sweater and dress shoes or boots every day.  There is something so euphoric about getting out of the clothes that I wear through my daily grind and into the clothes that I wind down in.  I love GAP body shirts and pants.  If you haven't tried them and you are looking for something comfortable and not to overly priced, I highly recommend them. 

My to do list....

Does this list ever end?  Does it ever go away?  The answer is no...

During the week it consists of work, cooking dinner, making school and work lunches, activities, homework and cleaning up from the day.  On the weekends its consists of trying to run, laundry, deep cleaning my house, kid activities, grocery shopping and whatever else I can not get to during the week.   On my side list, I am closely watching airline ticket prices for when my parents come up in December, I am online shopping for a formal dress to wear to a Coast Guard function we will be attending next month and I am attempting to photograph the fall here in Sitka.  I am also beginning to ponder my Christmas shopping.  I know most probably think that is crazy but I have never been the type to wait until December to start shopping.  I am a huge planner and procrastination is devastating to my personality.  I am currently in the mental list mode but that will be transitioning shortly to the get down to business mode.  

I'm thinking about...

Lots!

How I can get the tension and knots in my shoulders and neck to subside.  They have been there for roughly a month and no matter how much heat I put on them, cream I rub on them or massages I get they just will not go away.  I usually wake up pain free but by mid day my shoulders are aching and by the time I get home I feel like they are on fire.  I need serious relief and I don't know what the hell to do.

The fact that my brother in law accepted a position in Washington and my sisters family will be moving there gradually over the next 8 months.  I honestly never thought they would leave the little town we all grew up in.  I can not even imagine them being anywhere else.  I am so excited for them and happy for them to start a new adventure.  Moving is nothing new for my family nor is time apart for me and Trav. For them, this is uncharted territory and I can imagine their anxiety, excitement and trepidation.  I know they are making a good, wise decision to the leave California and start new somewhere else.  I know my brother in law and sister were ready to make a change and I truly believe this is it!  

The fact that in one month our shopping list will be out for transfer season.  This is the first time in 15 years that I have not had the urge to participate and get the hell out of wherever we are.  I feel like I am getting older, wiser and more fearful of the changes that will be coming.  My children are older, their transitions will not be as easy and the life I have personally worked hard for, ie: my job, my relationships will be changing or ending.  I realize that this is my life, the life I choose to live but for the first time I have serious reservations about the changes that are coming.  I am desperately trying not to think about them and not focus on them until the list is staring me in the face but I know all to well the uncomfortableness and transition that awaits my family. 

The news that someone I love very, very much was standing at the door labeled Cancer again and was waiting to see what is on the other side.  This is not her first time battling this ugly disease but that does not mean that I am not frightened for her.  The last journey for her was emotional, exhausting and came with a very long road.  Most in our family knew this could happen but its been almost 13 years and I guess you just get used to the good news each year.  Now, this time there was something on the scans.  Its just not fair.  She has done everything right.  She didn't smoke, didn't drink and leads a healthy life.  Cancer is a bitch and I hate it!!  Luckily the mass was benign but I know that her family was scared.  Did I mention Cancer is a BITCH!

I'm thankful for...

An understanding husband who is my crutch all week long.  He lends his ear when I need to vent about anything and everything.  He offers me a unique perspective, typically vastly different from my own to help me be subjective.  He has stepped up in such a huge way to help me with the kids and all their activities.  He does all of this while still dealing with all his own professional challenges and trying to grasp at moments for himself.  He really is a badass!

A son who is truly coming in to his own.  Sixth grade was a successful year for my Travi but he was definitely in a transition.  This year I just see him truly shining.  He is driven and really changing.  His personality is maturing and so are his perspectives.  I really respect the young man his is striving to be. He is extremely involved in after school activities, enjoying his friendships and making great strides in all aspects of his life.  He still will not put his dirty clothes into the laundry basket or hang his wet towel up in the bathroom but my Trav and I keep having these mini conversations where we find ourselves in awe of the choices he is making, the funny personality he is expanding and the overall joy he brings to our lives.  He is just a really RAD kid and I find myself loving him in a way that feels almost respectful as the days pass.

The fact that my two boys can love each other so much not only as father and son but also as friends.  They enjoy each's others company, have a very honest, open relationship and share common interests.  As Travi gets older they can partake in more adventures and build their bond.


I Love it when...

I drive to work and see the fall foliage on the trees in town that will or are changing.  Most of the trees up here are Evergreen trees and will not be loosing their leaves.  The sporadic trees around town that are deciduous are shades of amber, gold, red and greens right now that just keep me smiling.  Fall here is not the most beautiful I have ever seen but I am grateful for the flecks of color that are popping up.

My house is uber clean and it smells good.  Enough said!

Walks with my family in the crisp, fall air during that "magic hour" just before and after sunset.  The setting sun permeates and the beauty on the trails here just leaves me breathless.


Coming up...

Travis will be setting the wheels in motion to attempt to promote again.  This does not serve us well on the "the next move will be our last" home front but realistically I knew this was inevitable.

As I mentioned my parents are coming up for the holidays.  We have been alone for Christmas the past 3 years so I am excited to have family be with us.

Taylor starts gymnastics soon, very soon!  She has been asking to take gymnastics for two years and it is finally being offered here in town.  I hope she loves it!


In pictures...