Recycled Thoughts..

I feel like I have recycled the topic of this post at least a few times over the years.  Here we are again, heading into fall, thinking about another moving process.  I just loathe this whole waiting game where we stand around, talking about moving, over analyzing every possible outcome that is completely out of our control.  It stresses me out.  The one thing that is different this time from any of the previous moves that I have made is that I am firm on the fact that I don't want to leave where we currently are.  I want to stay in Alaska whether it be in Sitka or in Kodiak.  Our lives feel good here and I hate the thought of giving up that good feeling for another new spot.  Its a hard process to emotionally dive into again.  Letting go of home again, starting over, finding a new house, new schools, new familiar faces, new grocery stores.  I feel like I am not ready for new again.  The mom and control freak in me wants familiar, but the spouse and dependent in me knows that this is not my forever and we are going to have to go.

I just wish I could be more accepting of this part of my military life.  I know the CG won't let us stay here any longer, I know that is our time to go, I know that my kids will adjust and I know that I am able to relearn where all my favorite food staples will be in the next grocery store.  I know there will be new opportunities, new adventures, new friends and a new comfortable.  It is just the long process of getting there that leaves me restless.

I have been reminding myself quite a bit lately that I still have 8 months left here in Sitka, in Alaska to enjoy. That leaves me many months of hiking my favorite trails, running my favorite routes, seeing familiar faces and being comfortable.  I am reminding myself that we can hopefully return to Alaska for another tour at some point down the road.  This place is just so beautiful, so magical and so wonderful.  My heart feels really good here and I have great trepidation about saying goodbye.

In the mean time, I will keep smiling, keep thinking positive thoughts and keep taking pictures when I can to help us remember all of the best parts about our current, beautiful home. Here are some recent pictures I took.  We had "termination dust" on the mountains this past weekend.  The fall colors are beautiful, the air is cold and the forest is falling asleep for the winter.  I put extra blankets on the kids beds and we feel ready for the coming months of cold.