Recycled Thoughts..

I feel like I have recycled the topic of this post at least a few times over the years.  Here we are again, heading into fall, thinking about another moving process.  I just loathe this whole waiting game where we stand around, talking about moving, over analyzing every possible outcome that is completely out of our control.  It stresses me out.  The one thing that is different this time from any of the previous moves that I have made is that I am firm on the fact that I don't want to leave where we currently are.  I want to stay in Alaska whether it be in Sitka or in Kodiak.  Our lives feel good here and I hate the thought of giving up that good feeling for another new spot.  Its a hard process to emotionally dive into again.  Letting go of home again, starting over, finding a new house, new schools, new familiar faces, new grocery stores.  I feel like I am not ready for new again.  The mom and control freak in me wants familiar, but the spouse and dependent in me knows that this is not my forever and we are going to have to go.

I just wish I could be more accepting of this part of my military life.  I know the CG won't let us stay here any longer, I know that is our time to go, I know that my kids will adjust and I know that I am able to relearn where all my favorite food staples will be in the next grocery store.  I know there will be new opportunities, new adventures, new friends and a new comfortable.  It is just the long process of getting there that leaves me restless.

I have been reminding myself quite a bit lately that I still have 8 months left here in Sitka, in Alaska to enjoy. That leaves me many months of hiking my favorite trails, running my favorite routes, seeing familiar faces and being comfortable.  I am reminding myself that we can hopefully return to Alaska for another tour at some point down the road.  This place is just so beautiful, so magical and so wonderful.  My heart feels really good here and I have great trepidation about saying goodbye.

In the mean time, I will keep smiling, keep thinking positive thoughts and keep taking pictures when I can to help us remember all of the best parts about our current, beautiful home. Here are some recent pictures I took.  We had "termination dust" on the mountains this past weekend.  The fall colors are beautiful, the air is cold and the forest is falling asleep for the winter.  I put extra blankets on the kids beds and we feel ready for the coming months of cold.

Summers over and I'm okay with that...

Summer is over!  My kids are back in school, I dropped what feels like a cool mint on clothes and supplies (I hate buying clothes and supplies for school) and the leaves are turning colors up here in SE Alaska.  Our fall here starts early and I am fine with that.  If you know me at all then you know I LOVE all things fall.  Its my favorite time of year.  

So both the kids are in the final year of school here in Sitka.   They are also finishing transitional years in school respectively.  Travis is an 8th grader and to be honest I'm a little stunned.  I am definitely not old enough to be viewed as the type of parent who carts around someone finishing middle school.  Taylor is finishing elementary school and will leave Sitka ready for middle school.  Again, I am not old enough for this.  I mean I still listen to hits radio, buy what I would consider cool, hip clothes and I know what a MEME is.  I know that I have lost my edge slightly but I just don't see myself having kids this old.  Then, I come home from work to a hectic, chaotic activities schedule, homework I don't now how to do, attitude, teen problems and reality fires me a gut check.  I have two older kids in older grades and I have the gray hair to prove it. 

Seriously though, look at these two.  My Travi is growing so fast, straight up.  His hair is pulling major credentials this year and he is so damn handsome.  His eyes, my mom says are the same color as my late Uncle Larry.  They look this unique color of gray. lavender and green.  Taylor is still the calming joy of my life.  She can sense my fatigue and stress so easily and her soul brings me great comfort.  I see little flecks of the women she will become but I am trying to enjoy the little girl that she still is. 

Summer was busy but enjoyable.  We had our vacation, enjoyed some family and definitely tried to soak in as much of a Sitka summer as we can since it was our last full one here.  My emotions feel overwhelmed at times when I think about leaving Alaska again.  But that is another post for another day.

                    

                    

Now we are turning our attention towards fall.  Hunting season is in full swing which we balance between work, swimming, school, cross country, gymnastics, football and band practice.  The NFL officially starts on Thursday and I day dream about pulling down my fall decorations to adorn my house with.  We take long walks on our favorite trails in the pouring rain because days without rain are few and far between, but secretly we love it!  I smile at the red, gold, pink and amber leaves I am seeing around town and I dusted off my sweater collection and tall boots to add them back to my work clothing arsenal.  I also purchased a small, fall scented candle which damn near made my weekly trip to the grocery store almost feel worth it.  

This is definitely my favorite time of year.  I soak up these cool, crisp days.  I love cozy nights under extra blankets.  Sundays at home watching football eating homemade soups and chili.  I think I could live in this equinox forever if I had to.